THESE ARE YOUR STORIES. 

My grandmother had died from cancer in the hospital at Middletown, New York. However, me and most of my family were not allowed to enter due the draconian covid-19 lockdowns. I cried to her on the phone about how sorry I was for all the things I have done to her. She wasn't able to speak due to the severity of the cancer killing her slowly as she was gasping for air. The next day she died. The last time I saw her was her corpse at her wake and then a second time at the funeral. All thanks to scumbag Andrew Cuomo for mandating these draconian lockdowns. Which don't save people. Let people work and stop letting the government terrorize it's citizens on family gatherings. This unspeakable evil must be spoken up against to and the perpetrators must be held accountable for the massive genocide of humanity

New York

I'm a poor person who have to eat so low protein because of my incom and as in venezuela i don't get food at low cost im suffering hungry and starving because of the lockdown that the goverment implemented in the country. I have so many things that i don't made during the lockdown as simple as visit a beach or meet my love ones. I also been affected in my incom because of i can't live with my old job, i loss it and the market for things like food or anything is almost inaccesible for me because of i can't get enought money to invest something. i can't event get 100$ per month, sometimes i eat 1 time a day. im suffer so much stress cuz i think in my future and my family future and all i see is dark horizonts in the coming days, months years. I have to work doing low pay things on the internet and i have to sleep during the day and stay work on the computer during the night because of the internet is better in the night, i have literally years doing that but with the lockdown i litarally have no choice and i have to do it daily, i can't remember a day in the last year when i sleep during the night and wake up in the dawn, i hope the humanity got a way to survive that world tiranny that wand all us sick, slaves and dead...

God bless the people that fight against that evil lockdown...

Sorry my bad english and please feel free to fix my errors im eat now my 2 food at 10pm so i can't think so clear to do it perfectly

Venezuela

Hello there

I have lost two jobs in the UK one working at st Thomas Hospital who demanded that porters who never came near patients wore masks.
I refused I also was gobsmacked and disgusted that this was considered a Pandemic when the hospital was so so quiet.

I think Florence Nightingale is looking down in utter disgust at the nurses who go along with this lie.

I recently lost a 2nd job doing Plumbing for a well known Billionaire mansion Richard Caring who paid fir us all being tested,up the nose, every Monday morning.

I refused to allow this to be my "new normal"

They said it wasnt forced testing but moved me to another job another wealthy client in South Kensington that was where I was asked to do a covid test or leave site.

So they are playing games with people saying its not mandatory,but it is...because I am out of work from thay job.

I found it extremely stressful in both cases because trying to work while fighting for your rights to your own body is extremely stressful.

Which is how they want it,they seem to want people to just relent and cave.

Most just comply because work actually has enormous power over us all.

I am very demoralised I know the courts are useless and only protect billionaires.

We are in the mirror image of pre Martin Luther days where the rich could afford the churches penances and the poor couldnt.

Except now its a modern day court system protecting this Pandemic lie on behalf of billionaires.

We cannot afford the courts and they do nothing for us.

The way all forces are acting in unison in all departments and all levels of government without one single person breaking ranks is to me horrifying.

London

Absolute nightmare sleeping disorder angry depressed children’s mental state is not in a good place no sports for kids no schools for kids ,their friends not allowed to visit need I say more

Perth Scotland

I am pregnant and spent last Friday in tears because my partner persuaded me to skip my scheduled antenatal appointment. He is convinced that if I go to the hospital I will catch Covid, give it to him and that he will die.

"Why can't you do the appointments over the phone?", he says. He has underlying heath conditions but is not yet eligible for the vaccine.

I received a worried call from a midwife who said that they had been planning to do certain checks that could not be done over the phone, such as monitoring the baby's heartbeat. She urged me to go to my next appointment and assured me that the risk of catching Covid as an outpatient is extremely low.

Before lockdown my partner was a sane and rational person with a happy and active social life. Now he does nothing but sit indoors watching/ listening to the news all day and it's shocking to see how much he has changed.

Incidentally, I want to clarify that I am NOT a so-called "covid denier": I know that this is a very dangerous virus and that certain restrictions are necessary to protect the vulnerable.

However, from my point of view the debate surrounding this virus has recently descended into hysteria. For example, the latest rhetoric coming from the government is that even buying a takeaway coffee is a potentially murderous act that must be avoided. I believe that the current climate has contributed to my partner's descent into a spiral of fear, to the point where he has lost all sense of perspective and believes Covid to be such an imminent threat to his life that he has to prevent his girlfriend from accessing antenatal care in order to "Stay Safe".

Do the authorities not consider that, by putting us under indefinite house arrest, they have created a heaven for controlling partners who love an excuse to prevent their partner leaving the home?

Yet if you dare question lockdown policy, or even talk about the negative effects it's having on you, you are instantly labelled an evil "granny killer" who hates grannies and wants them to die. So people in vulnerable circumstances are expected to shut up and accept that our suffering, including being denied medical treatment, is acceptable collateral damage in order for others to Stay Safe.

Thank you so much for creating this site. It's the only place I would dare to tell my story, even anonymously.

London

Lately I’m really starting to struggle - I feel nothing but impending doom and feel my mental state deteriorating because of this.
I feel worried all the time now as we wait for the funny money being printed to run out and unleash god only knows what. I feel depressed and just generally negative about our collective future.
I feel the very stability of civil society slipping away all in the name of Covid - a virus which is not lethal for most in comparison to others throughout history.
Most of all, I feel such anger towards most of my fellow countrymen/women for seemingly not caring about hard won freedoms being lost possibly forever, impending mass unemployment and wrecked businesses that have have taken years of hard graft to build.
How do we save the NHS by destroying on mass the tax base that pays for it?
Here we are in January 2021 - a population bound and gagged where going outside gets you confronted by a state milita and a fine if they decide you shouldn’t be there.
This is not the country I know I’m young (late 20’s) but it’s unrecognisable from the place I grew up.
My worry is a lot of this authoritarian state behaviour is never going to go away regardless of what Johnson or Hancock say.
I feel utterly hopeless which has been increased by the ever increasing media attacks on anyone who questions lockdown.
I just can’t see a way out.

UK

Being a 22-year-old autistic man, looking for full-time work and making headway into life has never been particularly easy, however the desperate and tyrannical situation in this country that has slowly unravelled from mid-March last year onwards has caused me extreme alarm and distress that I have not felt for at least six years. It causes me to feel a burning sense of regret and subsequently become terribly angry with myself for not trying harder during the years of ’16, ’17, ’18, ’19 when the economy was comparatively in tip-top shape and the jobs market was in a far better position to cater for minorities like mine.

I have consistently stood against the lockdown measures since the 16th of April last year, but especially after the 7th of May when they extended the original lockdown simply on grounds on suppressing the coronavirus which is insane and disproportionate in the extreme if the NHS has the capacity to manage cases. It is ignorant, in my opinion, to care only about cases and deaths from an extremely minor condition that is barely the slightest nugget of concern, if even that, for anyone below the age of 50 and has not even been known to take the life of any child without an underlying health condition. But the lockdowns, tiers and other restrictions cause the most vicious and heart-breaking damage to our country and it is now increasingly apparent that the impact will be permanent even if, by miracle, this horrific regime is overthrown in my lifetime. Rishi Sunak is going to want the furlough money back and future generations will be bearing the brunt of what comes next.

In that case I would love to support local businesses while I still can. However this is not feasible because to do so would be very stressful and not that it should be my fault – the physical distancing rules, i.e. one or two metres apart, are anti-human in that we are expected to treat others like lethal contagion. They make feel profoundly upset and worried for the future. The requirement at some venues to enter a track-and-trace form is also totally inhumane and is a massive infringement of piracy; and the same goes for mandated contactless payments. The worst offender by far though would have to be the ineffective face masks which are the most putrid, disgusting and horrifying little menaces ever to tear through our nation. Not only are they bad for our environment and detrimental to our ability to communicate and socialise properly as human beings, but they are an outright abuse to our bodily autonomies and a dangerous precursor to mandatory vaccines. Any ‘coronavirus’-related requirement to enter, or do business with these companies and groups, is therefore completely out of the question and I will simply have to decline such activities in the overwhelming majority of cases. And that’s not all – they constantly change, even at the same venue, and sometimes even without advance notice or warning which makes any visit a massive gamble – not to mention discriminatory towards autistic people. We need businesses who will refuse to implement social distancing and other guidelines and that will make traversing their grounds and interacting with them far less stressful – in fact, that is the only action they can take to eliminate human rights abuses.

Usually I would enter any new year with cheer and excitement, but this was unfortunately not the case with 2021. My strong and natural instinct is that things are just going to get worse and intensify. I have prepared for the strong possibility of a severe economic recession by diversifying my assets and by withdrawing cash from the ATM. Fairly soon though, I bet it’s going to become apparent that the United Kingdom doesn’t work for my interests and I’ll have to look for alternatives. If the government even dares to bring in anything like they have in New Zealand, where innocent citizens are removed by force to so-called ‘quarantine’ facilities, more like concentration camps, that will likely be the last straw and migration to a new country, if it is substantially more sensible on the affairs that we suffer through, will need to be sought. If there were a legalised route to assisted suicide such as the one in Switzerland that might even have to be considered.

I am really counting on something to happen which can end this nightmare and bring back the old normal, or at least something sufficiently close to it without any of the masks, physical distancing, ‘track-and-trace’, police interrogation or threats of mandatory vaccines. It is hard is such situations though to do so because a strong majority of everyone who has contacts to me is not challenging the government, and many are in fact behaving like total sheeple by passionately donning their masks every time they pop into the groceries. I need to find a way out of this merciless insanity and fast.

South East England

Thanks go to the creators of this site for offering a platform to share our stories.

I know that I have been much more fortunate than many during these dreadful times, but it still doesn’t mean that the impact on my mental health is any less severe. We’ve all suffered in different ways and to say ‘we’re all in the same boat’ is to misunderstand. Some people have put up with lockdown after lockdown as they have minimal effect on their lives it seems. That’s not the case for all.

I’m in my late twenties and currently working from home, living with my parents. I was very lucky to retain my job, so haven’t been furloughed at any point. However, I started my role shortly before lockdown last March, so had hardly any time to learn the job properly before I was forced to work from home. I’m a very sociable being and miss my colleagues dreadfully. I don’t like working from home and would never choose to do so under normal circumstances. It definitely doesn’t suit everybody. I’ve had days where I’ve just burst into tears (I even hyperventilated at one point) as there seems to no end in sight to all of this, and I don’t feel I’ll ever return to my office. I really enjoyed being there and it’s all been taken away. I’ve had to get mental health help as I just couldn’t cope. They’ve been very good to me and I’m lucky to have access to the service, but I just feel that there are some things even they can’t help with.

On top of that, I started a new relationship early in 2020 and was forcibly separated from my partner when lockdown came into force. It was months and months before we could meet up, only doing video calls up to that point. He was very much pro-lockdown and I’m a very firm sceptic, so this caused derision and friction between us. We broke up in the Autumn. I was very disappointed as I have had a string of unhappy relationships and this was yet another one to add to the pile. These lockdowns are turning people against each other and it’s becoming akin to tribal warfare. It was deeply upsetting that he just didn’t seem to understand or care about the collateral damage that’s being done to us all.

Now it seems I am stuck. I can’t form a new relationship, and this government is making the misery of my singledom even worse now. I would like to find a partner and settle down when I can, it’s such an important issue for me. Lockdowns are unnecessarily prolonging my progress in this area of my life and I’m sure other young singles feel the same.

I can’t go out on a ‘traditional’ date and even going for distanced walk with someone seems questionable now. We all know young people are minimally affected by this virus, and yet a lot of us are treated as if we’re the problem. I’ve been doing everything I’ve been told to do because I’m a law-abiding citizen, but it doesn’t mean I understand those rules or think they’re a good idea. I probably wouldn’t even be able to form a support bubble with a new partner as I’m likely not to be eligible. I have to wait for Boris to give me the say so on whether I can even show a prospective partner any affection, give them a hug etc. It’s ridiculous, and such a despicable insult upon our civil liberties.

Life is for living. I ought to be enjoying my twenties and out on dates and at bars with friends, not stuck at home under house arrest when I see no reason to be. The longer this goes on, the more concerned I feel about my future and the futures of those closest to me; but I am also extremely worried about how this will impact my entire generation in the long term. We’re likely to be feeling the financial and economic burden for the rest of our lives. I hope there will be an enquiry, and that one of the questions asked will be ‘was this a proportionate response to the threat?’

Bracknell, Berkshire

I feel so low all the time. Seeing the children in my family being deprived of school, friends, social activities is bringing me down to the depths, Seeing on television the bullying and intimidation inflicted on innocent people going out for fresh air and being told they cannot sit down but must keep moving I am beyond despair. I just feel like giving up. I am a Christian and I desperately want to believe these are the end times - if they are then just maybe I could carry on. I have asked God to give me just a tiny chink of hope but my tears are almost non-stop. I sleep very badly, usually every other night. Most times I just get up sit and cry. My anger against this government consumes me. I don't believe the virus is the reason for our destruction because 10 months on and it is still almost impossible to find anyone who knows anyone who has died from covid and I have a fairly wide network.

North West England

This time last year, all four in our household went to work. Now it is just one.
My eldest daughter is in the final year of her Fine Art degree and now it seems, due to this government and their draconian rules, she will never have the show which she has dreamed of for years. She has often expressed her sadness for the students that this happened to last year - now it’s happening to her. I am absolutely heartbroken for her and have wept about it.
I feel nauseous every single day due to the realisation that our freedom has gone: we are forbidden to do almost everything that makes life worth living eg having family and friends in our own homes and gardens, going for a lovely meal, meeting up with pals for a drink, going to the gym and many many other things.
UK gov and SAGE have actively encouraged people to look upon other human beings as bio-hazards, leading to divisions in society. I have a valid face mask exemption and wear a lanyard. I find it distressing to be anywhere where others are wearing them - I can’t recognise my neighbours in the local shops. I feel that this country is being systematically ruined by the government and I have a dreadful fear that the damage will be permanent. Lockdowns and restrictions are causing FAR more harm than good. Is it true that this virus has a 99.8 per cent survivability rate? Is it true that the average age of a covid death is 82.4? If so, why would we have to live like this, hurting millions of people when we should focus on looking after the elderly? Full disclosure: I know what it’s like to experience covid - I had it in March last year.

North East England

Autism spectrum, mid-40s, educated, midlands. I have problems communicating with strangers and am afraid of police and security guards after a previous assault by a guard. I was already suffering depression and anxiety before the covid crisis but was previously rarely suicidal and could live independently.

The first lockdown changed this. I am afraid to go out because I would have a meltdown if confronted, assaulted or harassed by police, vigilantes or curtain-twitchers. Police brutality was a recurring worry impeding my social activity and movement even before covid. Now it is such a major fear that I hardly go out at all. I am still in fear as I am also worried about criminalisation of dissent, lowering of the bars to sectioning, unjustified house raids, and roundups such as happened in Wuhan.

I am now having suicidal thoughts regularly and have had acute crises several times. I have gone as far as to purchase items to use should I need to commit suicide. I am anhedonic most of the time. My workrate has suffered enormously. I have become too afraid to go out. I have been out for walks only twice in the last six months, six times in the last year, always just around the closest streets. I have regular meltdowns and have to avoid far more things to not have meltdowns now, including conversations with pro-lockdown people and most mainstream news.

I have not been able to access routine healthcare such as GP visits and diabetes tests since the first lockdown started as this involves navigating spaces which have changed drastically and have long lists of draconian rules I cannot easily follow. I should be having six-monthly blood tests, nurse appointments and the flu jab. My trust in the medical profession has also been undermined as I feel they are complicit in measures which are a health threat to me.

Like many autistic people, I have a strong sense of concrete justice and anger about abuse of authority. Many of the rules make little sense to me even on epidemiological grounds, for example I cannot see why camping alone in a remote area is medically higher-risk than walking in a crowded park, or what's wrong with picnics. The gestapo-like policing puts autistic people at increased risk of abuse and assault as many will argue with police or meltdown and flee, get angry, or freeze up. I feel the failure to recognise autistic special interests or routines as essential reasons to go outside is systematic discrimination, and for me there is a eugenic taste to the whole concept of dividing life up into essential and inessential activities. Such activities are often necessary to provide purpose in life and avoid feelings of existential collapse. I am shocked that people are still working in crowded conditions with no protection but these same people cannot legally meet after work or go for walks together. In my experience this whole situation is a Kafkaesque totalitarian dystopia. It makes no rational sense, it is some kind of groupthink herd reaction I'm not part of and I feel in these circumstances that I'm not part of the community or society, other people don't care if I live or die yet they expect me to care whether they do and it makes me sick.

The "how to protect mental health in lockdown" proposals have mostly been useless to me because they require greater self-control than I currently have. I have been self-medicating extensively and may have developed a drug habit which could take a lot of getting out of later.

Traumatic experiences in autism are particularly hard to overcome. There are things I abandoned due to trauma 20 years ago that I still avoid today. So for me, it is an open question whether lockdown will ever be over. There is a good possibility that I will never again be able to go out alone or to go into mainstream spaces, even if lockdowns are lifted. There is also an ongoing risk of suicide. My sense of a purpose to life has been badly shaken. The biggest factors affecting these will be whether lockdowns become the "new normal"/a recurring tactic and whether the current lockdown gets retrospectively condemned as ineffective, human rights abuse, etc.

I cannot comply with measures such as mandatory ID registrations and health passports as this throws me into a panic. If these things are made compulsory and enforced then I will probably commit suicide. If they are voluntary but used to control access to spaces or "privileges" then I will simply forego the things they are needed for. I cannot use shops until queueing returns to normal. I am also unable to gauge what a 2-metre distance might be or remember to follow such things while also focusing on the activity at hand. Also, I believe Chinese-style social credit systems are being introduced through the backdoor and these will particularly affect autistic people and others with serious psychological problems.

I have lost contact with many of my friends since lockdown started. At least four people I know have had very serious mental health crises due to lockdown. It is hard to stay in touch online or by phone as none of us have the energy or focus; one of my friends cannot get out of bed now due to depression and only answered the phone to me by mistake, another has been off the radar for several months because she does not feel fit for company. A number of other friendships have frayed because those people have been drawn into the media panic around covid and I feel they don't care about my survival. Most of my friends are politically left-wing and I feel particularly betrayed by these people who have always previously been critical of police brutality, police-state measures and the authoritarian tendencies of Johnson, May, Blair, etc. My relationship to my carers - who I rely on for anything involving contact with the offline world now - has been frayed and we have arguments much more frequently than before. They are also now struggling with depression even though they are pro-lockdown and so are not looking after me as well as before. I've also apparently lost a few friends because I got tetchy or hostile at some point because they said something that triggered me at a low point. I normally react more calmly but at the moment it's like I'm standing on a veneer of tracing paper over an abyss.

I feel lockdown is genocidal against autistic people because it takes away coping mechanisms and imposes stress beyond our ability to cope. Many will commit suicide, develop addictions, and/or develop lifelong traumas amounting to psychological GBH as a result of lockdown. Nobody seems to care because we're not "essential" people and our lives don't fit the neurotypical herd narrative, plus "mental health" doesn't matter compared to "physical health" for most people, so we're at best an afterthought. Current psychiatric ideologies overrely on wishful thinking and self-control and are not strong enough for the kind of stress-bath that something lke lockdown involves. There's a complete lack of realism about what people are capable of coping with and what people's needs are.

Midlands

I kind of feel my story does not warrant a look as I know I have been much more fortunate than others over this time.

I run 2 businesses and am married with 2 children. (12 and 10).

When lockdown happened we thought it would be temporary short sharp fix, but as we all know it went on for a long time and now is back with a vegence.

My daughter (12) was in P7, she has always lacked confidence and was pegged for enhanced transition to high school. Whilst both my children just accepted and in the main got on with lockdown, they did suffer. Both become very demotivated with schoolwork or doing anything. What they were given was beyond basic and maybe enough to keep them going for 30mins. Meanwhile I was working from home fighting and working my backside off to keep my businesses afloat and provide for my family. Our main income generating business was hit with a drop in sales as financial uncertainty swepped the nation. We had just after 10 years in business invested in our own business premises and enjoyed 2.5 months working there with a handful of colleagues, until it all stopped. We run an ecommerce business and send products out ordered online. Fortunately my husband was able to still go in and do the orders as he was the only one entering the building. All others worked from home or were furloughed. I had to work as I usually do from 8/9am until 4/5 and then again after the kids were in bed, nothing much new there, but whilst doing this my kids sat, ate rubbish and stared at screens.... all day... and I mean all day. I found myself jealous and envious of those truely furloughed, being able to not worry about income, be at home and have time to help their children, to go on fun walks and do crafts with them. Not us, we had not time. Keeping the cash coming in to protect our home and our staffs future jobs was essential.

The school work was minimal, contact and support non existent and despite cries for help with transition or end of term celebrations to mark moving from such a key stage fell on deaf ears.

We were all flat, deflated, feeling like life had no point or purpose.

The second business we run was new... a franchise I had bought into just before Christmas, a photography business, that I had employed a friend to quit her job, retrain and run for me... imagine the pain and guilt of having to close our doors and pay her just 80% of her wage which had an impact on her family of 5.

Its a bump to baby photography business, so we lost many clients who missed their moment to capture that special time. They cannot be rebooked, the moment has gone. To keep the business afloat I took advantage of the bounce back loan of 15K on top of my already hefty investment in starting it... and now are shut again and stalled again.... it is heartbreaking.

Probably the biggest surprise was my son, a usually eternally optimistic happy fun and lively boy just had the life sucked out of him and in the summer, he suddenly started crying and panicing like in an extreme way, saying he was choking and something was stuck in his throat... he stopped eating... and this continued for around 3 months, and he lost well over a stone. I am convinced this was all due to this too. Hes ok now we got him thorugh it, phone calls with the GP, seeing an NHS psych and eventually paying for a private therapist and a lot of bribary and patience. But what has this done to him?

What has it done to my daughter? And now she faces not just having P7 destroyed by S1 too.. no fun transition event, no extra school activities that make high school exciting.... and now we are back to being at home and tomorrow is day one of homeschooling part 2, and she was nearly in tears tonight worrying about it, and how she will manage and understand the work.

God I could harp on forever...but almost a year on, the photography business is closed again, we have had to let 2 people go staff wise in the the main business, which is still open and is doing ok... but we have an office we are paying for and not using, and yes I have had the grants and taken on loans and am grateful for the furlough. But it has stalled our plans and growth and just created this horrible cloud of uncertainty.

I am not 'all there' mentally, struggling to keep it together for my kids, husband, staff, feeling like whats the point... there is no joy anymore...my mum and mother in law live in the north of england and glasgow , its now coming up on a year since I have seen them. I despair.

Dundee, Angus

Self employed just outside London in a job which involves some close contact, so could not work from March when the lockdown started until July, then November off and now off again. I worked really hard to get where I am, I am totally self made and am earning just a couple of hundred over the amount to get the SEISS (self employed grant). How can it be right that I am not entitled to any help when forced to close my business, told I cant work in my chosen profession, but tough luck I get nothing, where as people earning more than me can get furlough if they work for a company.

What I earn may seem like a lot, but not if you live in the area of the country I do. Luckily I have been able to get other work here and there, but paying no where near what I normally earn. I am permanently sick with worry, not about Covid, but being allowed by this government to do my job and earn a living and support myself. I have terrible headaches and body aches due to the stress and feel ill every day.

During this time I had a cancer scare and it took them around 4 and a half months to check me out, thank god it was not cancer, if it had been I dread to think what would have happened.

My social life has also gone, and I am disgusted with the way I, and others have been treated. I think this lockdown will kill far more than it saves in missed cancer diagnosis etc. We will look back on this past year with shame.

Kingston

Literally watching my children with like Flowers in the Attic, my relationship is suffering as we are both depressed, my husband has serious health issues but does not want to ‘worry’ the NHS, and I am claustrophobically working from home. I worry. I worry all the time, I worry about my dad living alone aged 75 is just existing, I worry about my children’s mental health, I worry about my job snd I worry if this will ever end. I worry ‘what if we are being lied to?’ I worry life will never be the same again and I worry it may get too much snd I leave my 3 children to cope with this alone...I used to be happy, I’ve never felt depression, I’ve lost my mom snd my marriage previously snd been low but nothing had ever felt like this...colourless x

Birmingham

I am 67 next week. For the first time in 66 years I did not have Christmas day with a family member. I am outraged and will never forgive an unintelligent,irrational and disproportionate act by so many so called experts and politicians. The lasting effects of locking people in their own homes for a non high consequence infectious disease will far outweigh any benefit (not that there is any). I have spent years keeping healthy and can no longer swim or do exercise classes with fellow human beings. The PCR test is not supposed to be used for diagnosis and all deaths are more or less being classified as covid deaths. Absurd mass hysteria which is allowing a sinister fascist type takeover of a country I no longer recognise.

Scunthorpe

I have never felt as lonely and depressed as I do currently. Life has no colour or happiness. The world has gone completely insane. People say “we’re in this together” but we’re not are we? I at any rate live alone and am alone. I’m sorry but offering to phone me when I need a hug doesn’t cut it. I feel I have lost all sense of reality. I don’t know who I am without the context of relationships. I feel less than human. What is the point of a life without relationship. We were made to be in relationship with others.

Blackburn

I am a contractor in the oil & Gas Industry, i was working in Kazakhstan on a 28 on / 28 off rotation, i travelled back to to the UK on leave in early March and was due to fly back on 1st April, by this time the Covid lockdown meant i couldn't return.
I was paid fully for April rotation but after that took a severe cut for working from home. I never got to return to work and my employment was terminated in December.
I applied for government help but got nothing, apparently being a one man band limited company means nothing and i will receive no help until my company is bankrupt so Boris is doing nothing to help small companies and sole traders.
I now firmly believe this is no longer about a virus but the much talked about big reset and it just seems that this will not stop until every shop in local towns is boarded up.
Truly sad times for those who have worked so hard to build up a business to see the government destroy it in such a callous way.

Brighouse, West Yorkshire

My son was on fourlough for months in a row he couldn’t take it any more he said he was getting depressed he was a manager of a well known chain of restaurants he applied for some jobs but the only thing he hit to do is doing deliveries with Uber eats on a bike in the cold I am very concerned about him being out in freezing temperatures on a bike

London

we are unable to see you grandchildren in England. We miss them terribly. We are unable to speak into their lives. They have a reasonably good life with both parents present, good livelihoods and incomes with both parents in financially strong jobs. The elder child,. a boy, was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma in his abdomen 2 years ago, and was SO THANKFULLY able to undergo treatment, along with much prayer!! We were able to be there to support the family in Birmingham, and we just about lived there for a year.
Now however, it has been made impossible for us and we haven't been able to see them since September because of the "cross-over" lockdowns in England and Wales, where we live.

Pembrokeshire, Wales

I was made to take less contract hours and then of course lock down. So lost hundreds of pounds since March.. Need to pay rent etc.. So crazy. A lady opposite screams at night about 1 in the morning smashing her front door disturbing many. Called the police but there is nothing they can do supposedly.. Poor lady think she had mental health issues but now very dangerous on her own continually.. My daughters anxiety levels have gone through the roof. My mum and dad are so afraid 😨. I have hardly been able to see them since March even though they are 5 miles up the road. So so disgusting these lock downs.. Suicide is very up but they do not report those figures..

Christchurch Dorset